I am puke
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
