At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
