At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We were destined to go to rehab together
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
