I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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