why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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