I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
