Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
In America we eat man semen.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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