You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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