there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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