Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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