My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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