fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize