Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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