Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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