Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
