i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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