i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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