Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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