I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize