kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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