I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize