their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i permit you to call me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
