drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
