I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize