I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Two words: blizzard sex
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
