So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
try to milk me bitch
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