you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
