So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
