bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
