matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
