i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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