hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
