dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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