I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just invented taco cereal.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
