he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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