Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dick very happy bro
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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