yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
