whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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