Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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