it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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