Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
