I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
