Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
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We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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