she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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