break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
