Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
