do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
