so explain again why im purple
no
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
