after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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