I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
