Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
