Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
