If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
this hospital has no fireball
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
