I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
