I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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