I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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