Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
