How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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