i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
