Screwed.edu
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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