Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
