That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
