some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
