I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am naked and annoyed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
