he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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