I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
