she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You are a genius and a whore.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
