sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
