Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
