Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize