Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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