I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
